Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount.

Author's Note: I started this one months ago, but finally had the inspiration to finish it. It's the first really 'serious' fic I've attempted… I still can't decide if I like the outcome or not. It's about what I think would have happened after Workforce if Kathryn and Chakotay were involved. Feedback would be nice!

Dedication: For Loz :)

"Kathryn?"

She broke out of her reverie, a smile on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry, Chakotay. What did you say?" Her fork, that had been idly stirring pasta around her plate as she was deep in thought, now twirled a medium-sized amount around it's prongs as she raised it to her mouth.

He smiled. "Penny for them?"

Kathryn smiled, her fork just inches away from her mouth. "It's nothing important." Gently, she slid the fork into her mouth.

Chakotay sighed. "Kathryn, I think we both know what's wrong. Maybe we should talk."

She looked deep into his eyes, and placed her fork down on her plate with a light clang as the metal hit the china. "Okay," she said, her voice faltering slightly.

Chakotay gently rested his arms on the blue tablecloth on the table, one elbow either side of the plate. He reached forwards, and Kathryn, mimicking his movements exactly, grasped his hands in her own.

Kathryn was the first to speak. "I didn't love him, you know."

Chakotay's voice was quiet. "I know."

She sighed softly; realising that was of little comfort to him. "Chakotay… I don't know what I can say -- or do -- to make you understand how sorry I really am."

Her blue eyes pleaded with him, already tearing over slightly. Kathryn blinked back the tears that were already pricking at her eyes.

"Kathryn, I do understand," Chakotay said, his dark eyes gazing deeply into her own. He squeezed her hands gently, as if to reassure her. "It isn't your fault. I think you need to accept this before we can really talk about things."

"Promise?" Kathryn asked. Her tone was desperate as she blinked back yet more tears.

"I promise," Chakotay said, his tone soft and loving. Gently, he released one of her hands, and lifted his right hand up to her cheek, stroking the pale peach skin lovingly. "I love you, Kathryn."

She smiled softly, enjoying the soft caress of his hand. "I love you too," she murmured.

Chakotay sighed, his hand drawing away from her cheek, to grasp her other hand yet again. "We do need to talk."

Kathryn's heart fell, and she let out a small sigh. "I know, Chakotay." She looked down at her now empty plate. Although she knew he had to know, she didn't want to broach the subject just yet.

As if reading her mind, Chakotay interrupted her train of thought. "If you don't want to talk right now-"

"No," Kathryn stated stubbornly, her eyes raising to meet his eye-line. "What good will postponing the inevitable do? We need to discuss this, Chakotay."

He looked down for a moment, then looked back at Kathryn. "I know," he said finally. He gazed around the room for a brief moment, his gaze flicking from object to object, before he looked back at Kathryn. "Where do we begin?"

"I don't know," Kathryn said, some laughter entering her voice. She shook her head. "This is ridiculous, Chakotay."

"I agree," he said.

We need to work out where to begin." She looked at him. "So let's begin. Be honest… What bothers you the most?"

He looked deep into her eyes. "That maybe -- just maybe -- he would have been…" He trailed off.

"Chakotay?" Kathryn probed, urging him to complete his sentence.

"Maybe he would have been better for you than I would," he finished, gazing back down at the floor.

"Chakotay!" Kathryn sounded outraged, her eyes blinking rapidly in disbelief. For a moment, she was completely speechless. "How can you honestly think that?"

"He's not a criminal," Chakotay stated. "And he did love you, Kathryn. He doesn't risk his life on away missions… He was a skilled engineer… He was a good man."

"Chako-"

"I know, I know," he said, looking back at Kathryn. "It couldn't have worked… He couldn't have come back to Voyager, and I doubt you would have stayed with him. But…" He trailed off again, his eyes closing as he tried to force himself to continue speaking.

"Chakotay," her tone was softer this time, her voice gently sounding out each syllable of his name. "How can you think such a thing? No matter how seemingly perfect Jaffen may have been… he just wasn't you."
Chakotay smiled. "You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

Her answering smile was just as wide, her blue eyes almost glittering in the candlelight. "Oh, I think I do."

Chakotay's smiled dissipated as prepared to speak again. "There's something else bothering me," he said truthfully. "I need to know… What happened?"

A look of confusion crossed Kathryn's face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Chakotay sighed. "I saw you kissing him, Kathryn. I saw you two together. You were obviously in love -- you were even moving in with him. I… I need to know how far it went."

Her mouth went dry, and her voice cracked slightly as she spoke. "You mean, did we…?"

Chakotay nodded, his heart racing as he waited for her response. It skipped a beat as she lowered her gaze to her plate, and he knew he had his answer.

"You did?" It was more of a statement than a question. His only reply was a feeble nod from Kathryn, who was carefully avoiding his gaze as she struggled to choke back tears. The knowledge that she was causing the man she loved so much pain with the sheer truth was more upsetting to her than all she had been through in the past month.

Chakotay bit his lip, the answer sinking in. There was silence for a moment, before Kathryn decided to elaborate. She stared down at the carpeted floor of her quarters, still unable to meet his eyes.

"It seemed only natural," she managed truthfully. Then aware suddenly of how that sounded, Kathryn jerked her eyes upwards to meet his. "I never meant to hurt you," she told him, her eyes filling with tears. "I had no recollection of Voyager, of you… I didn't know. I know that doesn't make it right, Chakotay, but…"

Kathryn trailed off, noticing the pain in his eyes. She felt a pang of sadness in her chest as she realised just how much he was suffering, listening to the details of her brief relationship with Jaffen.

"It meant nothing," she continued, her tone truthful. "It did then, but it doesn't now. When Jaffen and I made love-" Kathryn saw the pain visible increase in his eyes as she said the actual words, and took a brief moment to compose herself, before carrying on. "When we did… It meant something. But that wasn't me, Chakotay." She finally succumbed to the overwhelming tears, allowing a teardrop to fall down her cheek to where his hand had earlier been. "I hope you can forgive me," she whispered. "I am so, so sorry."

Chakotay nodded. "I know you're sorry, Kathryn," he said, in a quiet tone. "I also know it wasn't you. In a sense, you weren't in control. And you weren't my Kathryn." Their eye contact broke as his eyes flitted around the room, before returning to meet her look. "As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to forgive, Kathryn."

Through her tears, Kathryn smiled.

"I can't promise that I'll be all right with this," Chakotay warned her. "I need to be honest with you, Kathryn, I need time. Seeing you with him…" His voice hardened. "It nearly killed me. I love you so much… and seeing another man with you, and me being powerless to stop it, because my entire rescue mission would have been over before it had begun had I acted on impulse…" he trailed off.
"Chakotay, I'm so sorry," Kathryn breathed.

He gave her a weak smile. "Don't apologise, Kathryn, you've nothing to be sorry for."

She smiled. "Would it be all right to apologise for saying sorry for saying sorry?"

Chakotay's grin widened. "I get the point, Kathryn."

Kathryn smiled gently, her eyes still teary. "So are we going to be all right?"

Chakotay paused for a moment, and her heart lurched as he opened his mouth. "I can tell you a story."

Her face brightened at this, but she didn't speak. She merely squeezed his hand tighter. Chakotay took a few moments to collect his thoughts before his voice broke the uninterrupted silence of her quarters.

"There was once a warrior, who fought for his people's freedom. But he had been tamed, by a fearless, beautiful woman warrior, with whom he was deeply in love. One day, the woman was attacked when out on a hunt. She fell, and was concussed. The attacking tribe took the woman warrior back with them, and when she awoke, she believed she was in love with one of the members of the tribe."

Kathryn said nothing, her expression revealing little as she gazed deep into his dark brown eyes, listening intently to his every word.

"Because the woman was deeply passionate, she loved the man from the other tribe, and gave herself to him, in the most intimate way that was possible."

At this, the one fist still by Kathryn's side clenched, painfully aware of just how deeply that had hurt Chakotay.

"When the woman regained her memory, and realised what had happened, she was devastated. She was in love with a member of her tribe, and she didn't know what would happen when he discovered the truth about her experience. Finally, he confronted her, and she related her tale to him. And although he was shocked, he wasn't angry. The woman warrior hadn't hurt him intentionally, and he knew that she was truly and honestly sorry for what had taken place. And because of that, he knew he could forgive her. He could, and would, forgive her anything. After all, he loved her."

Kathryn smiled through her tears, gently squeezing his hand, unable to find any appropriate words. Finally, she managed, through choked tears. "Is that really an ancient legend?"

Chakotay's smile widened. "No," he recited, squeezing her hand gently back. "But that made it easier to say…"