Disclaimer : Voyager and its characters belong to Paramount Pictures. No infringement intended.

Author's Note : by ALM_Voyager, Anne Rose, Annie, Bec, Clare, and Coral Title, Inspiration and silly asides by Sylvia...

<Anne3> It was another routine day on the bridge.

<Addy> Routine except that Chakotay had pinned Kathryn to the floor of the bridge.

<Anne3> He hadn't meant to, but Tom had left his newest game on the floor, and Kathryn wasn't looking where she was going...

<Clare009> The rest of the bridge crew remained in stunned silence as they watched their commanding officers untangle themselves,

<Anne3> except for Harry, who took the opportunity to snap some holo-images.

<Coral> Even if they had only fallen, Harry realised the commercial benefit in this.

<Anne3> By the time they were all sorted out, he had handed the holo-imager off to Tom.

<Addy> Tom had made a dash for the turbolift and was off in a moments notice before the Command team had noticed.

<Bec> He briefly wondered what he should do with the holo-image, when a wicked idea entered his mind.

<Coral> Checking left and right to make sure he wasn't being followed, Tom dashed into sickbay in search of the Doctor.

<Anne3> "Please state the nature of the medical emerg..."
Tom interrupted him, "There's no medical emergency yet, Doc."

<Addy> "I need you to hide this picture . . ." Tom rushed along the words. "Maybe, maybe," he thought, "download its coding to your database . . . something . . anything! Just get it hid!"

<Anne3> "I'm a Doctor, not a photo album, Mr. Paris. And judging from this photo, you have only a few minutes before the captain arrives for treatment."

<Bec> "Yeah, but Doc, imagine this...in a few years, you could own the only original 'Janeway/Chakotay first encounter' picture...can you imagine how much people would pay in replicator rations for that?"

<Coral> The Doctor sniffed haughtily, but, truth be told, his internal calculator had already started working this out. And he liked the answer.

<Anne3> Just then the doors opened and Chakotay strode through carrying the Captain in his arms.

<Bec> Tom - reacting quickly - realised that he still had a holo-camera in his hand, and took a quick photo of Janeway in Chakotay's arms.

<Coral> Then, shoving the holocamera down the side of a bio bed, he ran - ran for his life.

<Annie> Meanwhile, Chakotay and Captain Janeway blinked, then stared at the Doctor, anger and confusion written all over their faces.

<Bec> The Doctor shrugged, and pointed towards the door that Tom Paris had exited through.

<Coral> Placing his beloved gently on a biobed, Chakotay ran in the direction that the Doctor had pointed as the EMH watched, keeping one eye on that holocamera...

<Annie> Tom, fearing for his life, decided that the safest place to hide would be in B'Elanna's replicator - if he could fit - and he tripped over a foot he hadn't seen in his haste... Tuvok's foot, who had been told by the Captain's deathglary voice to help hunt him down while she reprogrammed the Doctor with her famous death glare.

<Bec>Tuvok wondered suddenly whether Tom had ever aged past the mental age of 4...he decided that Tom should have known well enough not to take photos of the command team in compromising positions...that was Tuvok - the secret founder of the J/C mailing list- 's Job!
<Coral> Bec, genius!!!!!!!
Coral rotkls
Bec bows
<Annie> worships Bec
Coral gives Bec a colourful round of applause!
<Annie> I could never have come up with that
* Sylvia once again fell from her chair laughing

<Coral> But appearances had to be maintained. "Lieutenant Paris. Is there an explanation for your behaviour today? I do not believe that the Captain is.. pleased."

<Annie> "Uh... the Captain ... uhh... sent me to warn the Doctor, so I did," was what escaped past Tom's lips as he tried to fool the emotionless, boring Vulcan who towered over his sprawled body on the floor.

<Bec> "Bear in mind, Mr Paris, that I was on the bridge at the time, and know all about your escapades. I demand that you turn the holo-camera over to me...immediately." Tuvok almost smiled, thinking of the lovely J/C images stored on the camera.

<Coral> Paris was far too flustered to notice the near-smile. "I - uh - I - uh, me.. me? Holocamera? I don't know what you're talking about!

<Annie> "*Crewman* Paris," a steely cold feminine voice made itself known, having had the voice's owner been fixed up by the Doctor already and the Doctor been reprogrammed, "my ready room - now!"

<Bec> Tuvok sighed...he'd been so close to obtaining those images. He decided, as Tom Paris scampered out of the room, that Kathryn Janeway's timing was almost...vulcan.

<Coral> Then Tuvok smiled a secret smile. Even if J/C was out of the way today... maybe there was something to be said for Janeway/Paris after all?

While Paris was being lectured and demoted, Chakotay went back to Sickbay, hoping to kill a few more subroutines that the Doctor owned, and he glanced around the hospital-smelling room in search of the camera.

<Bec> What he didn't know, was that the Doctor, being an avid J/C fan, had already taken the camera captive, and planned to bargain with Neelix - the holoimages for Neelix's promise never to use Leola root again. If the doctor saw one more case of food poisoning, he was going to scream.

<Coral> Poor Chakotay spent the next three days searching sickbay for that camera. If that picture ever got out, Kathryn was going to kill him. Slowly. And probably painfully.

<Annie> Paris wasn't a senior officer anymore, and Kathryn was still furious. She deathglared anyone who dared approach her for any reason, had spilled her coffee on numerous occasions and was ready to tackle any enemy by way of becoming a member of Species 8472.

<Bec> Chakotay slowly entered the Captain's ready room...he held the mug of coffee close to him, for protection, as he knew Kathryn would never harm her beloved...coffee.

<Coral> It was time to make amends, he had realised. So, maybe he hadn't found the camera? But... well.. he had coffee with him.

<Annie> Kathryn gave him her best, most deadly deathglare, her eyes piercing his soul, her voice menacing: "What do you want?"

<Bec> Words failed Chakotay, as he held out the coffee timidly..."I - er - well - um -"

<Coral> Chakotay passed out. Today, the deathglare was too much for him.

<Annie> Kathryn froze. She hadn't realized the impact she had with that particular action, and she unfroze long enough to race to him and check his vitals, sobbing her apologies and slowly lowering her mouth to his.

<Bec> Kathryn gently pressed her mouth to his, and Chakotay decided that it was at times like this that he was glad he faked collapsing. It definatly had it's rewards.

<Coral> Chakotay kissed her back passionately and, out on the bridge, looking at the internal sensors, Tuvok did smile. It would appear his bout of Writer's Block was over...

<Annie> Kathryn's hair came loose from its Bun of Steel and tumbled about her shoulders as she smiled into Chakotay's passion, embracing him as she sprawled comfortably on his body on the floor. Chakotay wept happily.

<Bec> Tuvok suddenly had an inspiration worthy of a JetCer. Maybe the fanfic had gone to his brain. Maybe the sleepless nights in the #JetC chatroom had finally got to him. Or maybe he had read way too much fanfic. He smiled.

<Coral> Quickly and carefully rerouting power, he sent out a message to the mailing lists. Then he sat back, complacent. The plan would soon be set in motion....

<Annie> Just then, Tuvok's sensitive Vulcan ears heard some non-regulatory noises coming from the Captain's ready room, and internally debated whether to risk entering Janeway's domain.

<Bec> Being a Vulcan - and also realising that he still had his Brillant Plan to put into action, he made his way to the ready room, and entered...in his good JetC mood, forgetting to press the door chime.

<Coral> Tuvok stopped dead at the sight. They were.. they... they were... !!!

<Annie> He stared... and stared... and stared. His eyes refused to look away, no matter how illogical the situation seemed...

<Bec> "Tuvok!" Kathryn exclaimed, her cheeks flushing red, throwing the fanfic down on the floor, and putting distance between herself and Chakotay. "We were just...um...well..."

<Coral> "...well... uh..." Chakotay continued. Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Indulging in a short story?" he suggested. "An.. interesting one?"

<Bec> Tuvok's superior Vulcan vision zoomed in on the paper. "Tuvok/Vorik fanfic," he said, hurt. "That is most...illogical. How dare you read T/V fanfic without me?"