~ The Truth About The Brownies ~

Disclaimer: This is based very loosely on a Friends scene, which I don't claim to own. Nor do I claim to own Star Trek : Voyager, or any of the characters.

Authors Note: Okay, so I was on a Friends high. Feedback would be nice.

Dedication: To Laura, for all her help, support, and everything else. God knows what I'd do without her. Sorry I didn't have anything better to dedicate to you, hon, but it's the thought that counts, right?!


Kathryn bit into the small brownie. She chewed thoughtfully, twisting her face, and scrunching her mouth as she tried to compare it to her memories.

"Is it right?" B'Elanna ventured optimistically. The senior staff looked on anxiously, and the atmosphere within the room grew tenser by the moment.

Kathryn's face twisted some more. As they saw her swallow the food, the assembled group leaned forwards, as if straining to hear her, while they awaited the verdict.

She let out a huge sigh. "No," she stated, as the rest of her crew let out a deep sigh. "I really thought Neelix was onto something with the cinnamon there… but I guess not."

"I'm sorry, Captain," Neelix apologised profusely, looking sadly at Kathryn. She waved one hand, dismissing his apology.

"It's not your fault, Neelix," she looked around at her senior staff. "What is wrong with this, people? I can beat the Borg… I can defeat the Kazon, I can deal with Species 8472, and handle certain annoying omnipotent beings…" She glared, just thinking about Q, and then looked around at the staff. "So why the hell can't we figure out my Mother's brownie recipe."

Kathryn sighed yet again, and Tom, sensing the disheartened feeling within the room, felt the need to say something encouraging.

"Batch #47 were pretty good, though," he reminded them.

"Which were batch #47?" Chakotay asked, sounding slightly confused.

"The ones we had right after you were sick," the Doctor reminded him.

"Oh yeah," Chakotay brightened. "Batch #47 was good." His face darkened. "Batch #46 did not agree with me."

"So are there any of batch #47 left?" Harry asked, an idea forming in his head. "Because we could just work from those."

"Yeah, there's some over here…" Chakotay rummaged around amongst the numerous plates of brownies that covered the Briefing room's table. He eventually located one, and took a bite out of it. "Mmm-" He cut himself off. "It's batch #46, #46 people, get out of the way." He disappeared through the door, clutching a napkin to his mouth.

Kathryn banged her head down against the table hard in frustration. "We're never gonna be able to do this," she moaned, lifting her head up only to slam it down again.

"I think she's getting worked up," Tom observed, edging away from Kathryn.

"You think, Mr Paris?" Tuvok raised an eyebrow.

"Sometimes, yeah," Tom joked.

Kathryn, who realised that the pointless banter wasn't solving anything, sat up straight, reducing everyone to temporary silence.

"Okay, think, people, think," she encouraged, looking around wildly. "Come on… there has to be something else. This is a problem, just like any other, and we're perfectly capable of solving it."

At this point, Chakotay entered the room. He re-took his seat, and eyed the brownies warily.

"Isn't there a crew member who'd have the recipe?" B'Elanna asked. "Tuvok, you knew her before Voyager. Don't you have it?"

"I regret to inform you that I have never tasted the infamous Brownies," Tuvok replied.

"Wouldn't you have written it down somewhere?" Neelix addressed to Kathryn.

"I never knew the recipe," Kathryn sighed.

"Wouldn't it be in the data banks?" B'Elanna suggested. "We could scan the ship's computer, looking for the-"

"It's hopeless," Kathryn said sadly. "The brownies were cooked, not replicated. They won't be programmed in."

Kathryn looked around at her senior staff, who exchanged glances with one another. Each felt it was secretly a lost cause, but for Kathryn's sake, wished to continue.

Kathryn sighed.

"Where did your Mom get the recipe in the first place?" Tom asked. "Maybe we're looking at this all the wrong way."

"It's a family recipe, Kathryn explained, remembering. "My Mother was passed it on from her Grandmother, Béta Gammâr." She pronounced the name of her Grandmother in an extremely bad attempt at a French accent.

B'Elanna suddenly sat upright. "Beta Gamma?" She asked, doing a double take at Kathryn.

"No," Kathryn shook her head, annoyed. "Didn't you hear what I-"

"Computer, one plate of Brownies, type Beta Gamma," B'Elanna addressed to the replicator. As the food materialised, she snatched up the plate, and placed it in front of Kathryn. "Are these the brownies?"

Kathryn tentatively took a small bite out of the brownie. Suddenly, her face lit up with excitement as she exclaimed "These are the Brownies! These are my mother's Browni-" she cut herself off as she stared first at the plate, and then at the replicator. "Oh no."

The senior staff exchanged looks. Chakotay moved forward, and placed a hand supportively on Kathryn's shoulder.

Kathryn chewed sadly on the Brownie. "My Mother's secret recipe…" she managed to choke out through mouthfuls of Brownie. "Was under our very nose all the time." She sniffed. "In a replicator, no less."

"It's ironic," Tom managed to say. "I mean -- you always say that when you were a kid, you wished you had eaten replicated food. And, well, I guess you did."

"Tom?"

"Hmm?"

"Not helping." Chakotay glared at the pilot.

Kathryn grabbed another Brownie from the plate, and sighed.

Chakotay nodded, and silently, one by one, the senior staff trickled out of the door, until just left was Kathryn, Chakotay, and a table loaded with Brownies, with Kathryn mournfully munching away on one of the newly replicated brownies.

"Look, Kathryn," Chakotay said sympathetically. "I know it's a bit of a disappointment to you-"

"Just a little," she muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

"If there's anything I can do," he offered.

"I'll be fine," Kathryn managed.

Chakotay gently sat down beside her. He smiled softly at her. "You have caramel," he finally said.

That got her attention. "Pardon?"

"Caramel," he said, smiling, baring the dimples. "Right there." He gently extended his finger, and caught it from the corner of her mouth, and wiped it into a napkin.

Suddenly, both Kathryn and Chakotay became aware of their close proximity to one another. Their eyeline had never been broken, and neither dared to, so afraid of spoiling the moment.

Softly, Chakotay's hand stroked Kathryn's cheek gently. He thought for a few seconds, wondering how a woman could be as beautiful as Kathryn, and then moved his hand to the back of her head, running it through her red hair.

Kathryn felt she ought to say something, make him stop. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Her body refused to co-operate with her brain… Kathryn finally had controlled the Captain.

As he pressed his mouth to her's, there was suddenly no need for words.

The huge clutter that sounded suspiciously like a large amount of plates of Brownies falling to the floor caused the Senior staff on the bridge to look around at each other, exchanging looks. Or, in Tuvok and Seven's case, eyebrow raises.

Apparently Gretchen Janeway, even thousands of light years away, had still been able to interfere, meddle, and accomplish the one thing that the crew of Voyager had not been able to do.

Q would have been proud.